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“It’s one of the great myths of casual sex,” says Jennifer Marsh, PhD, a sex researcher at the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction in Bloomington, Indiana. “It’s easy to see how young people getting laid without commitment might seem a bad idea, because I mean, what the hell is going on?! However, lots of people in their 20s are having lots of long-term committed relationships,” says Marsh, who researches how we negotiate relationships, sexual desire, and trust in relationship. It’s not that casual sex is always a bad idea — it’s just that it’s so often about having one-night stands. It might be a rocky night, but your odds of actually getting attached are low, which makes it an unattractive possibility for many people, including women. Also, the popularity of dating apps like Tinder could also be contributing to the rise in casual sex, simply because there’s less stigma about just going to find someone to screw. There’s little room for awkwardness, shame, or the possibility of getting taken advantage of if you’re with a stranger. Since you know exactly what you want, you don’t have to worry about anything going wrong. Plus, if you do sleep with someone, there’s no pressure to be in a relationship, since it’s just meant to be casual. Shouldn’t I be having sex all the time? What about getting married? This is probably the most common misconception about casual sex, and it’s a false one. Assuming you have an unlimited supply of casual sex partners to go around at no cost whatsoever is unrealistic and represents an attitude about sex that you should really avoid. The fact is that if you’re focused on only having as many one-night stands as you can before “settling down” is the only reason why you’re not having sex all the time. Many women also worry about whether or not getting casual sex means giving up a future with a man, but so long as you aren’t looking to get into a long-term relationship (i.e. you’re not thinking about settling down), there’s nothing wrong with casual sex. If you end up hooking up with someone who ends up wanting more, well, that’s a bonus. Because, sure, dating apps like Tinder now make casual sex easier, and casual sex has become just another option in your sexual repertoire. It’s not shameful or dirty — it’s just what you can get away with. If you’re
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If you want a discussion that’s going to get more hotly emotional than this one, I’m not going to be able to stop you. Casual sex has been stigmatized as disgusting, unhealthy, and just really wrong for a long time, but science is starting to bring us around to seeing it as a different — and morally, legally, and most important, physically, good — kind of thing. Here’s why. It’s safe to say that casual sex is easily the most enduring relationship model in American culture. Swipe left for a healthier society This is almost always where we start because, for better or worse, casual sex — in whatever form it takes — is the norm. It’s ingrained into who we are as a culture. If you ask older Americans, they’ll likely tell you that the importance of keeping your legs together has rarely, if ever, been more ingrained into our culture. I can say, though, that I’ve definitely heard a few fucked-up versions of things that make casual sex sound more bad. Aside from the eternal moralism — which means that the “choose your own adventure” at the core of casual sex is a tough one — casual sex has also been portrayed in the media as more dangerous, less safe, less romantic, a turnoff, less sexually satisfying, and a sure way to break up relationships. Media and academic outlets have gotten on board this train, as well, publishing a generation of articles and writings dedicated to explaining the supposed downsides of sex that are a little more salient than they need to be. Got an STD? This can happen to just about any sexual act You have a long way to go if you want to shed casual sex’s stigma. Are you sexually satisfied? This one is a little tricky. Because “casual sex” doesn’t actually describe what most people who call it that are looking for. There’s a difference between “casual hooking up” (in which you’re looking for a casual hookup and being it) and “casual sex” (the form it typically takes), but casual sex can and does have the potential to be more relationship-oriented. There’s a vast, beautiful spectrum of what that can mean for individuals, and for relationships, and all the implications that can come from that. We know that casual sex is typically taking place outside of a relationship, but who’s to say that it can’t be? As Wikipedia says, “casual

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